Thursday, May 28, 2009

A typical day in the life of a mom...........

Four kids! All different ages, personalities, complaints, issues, etc. How do we keep it all straight and not lose our minds!?! I have a son graduating (I hope) next week from high school with MAJOR senioritis (which I have contracted) and I am holding my breath until the diploma reaches his hands. The threats that one particular teacher has, that your kid has never meshed with since day one, that he holds the power not to pass him and he will have to earn his GED. HOW DO YOU EVEN GET A GED? COME ON! MY KID GOT A 30 ON HIS ACT! NO PROBLEM IN ANY OTHER CLASS EVER!! WHY DOES THERE ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ONE HEMORRHOID IN THEIR EDUCATION!? I am a firm believer that some teachers have absolutely no business in teaching, and it scares me that they are with our children the amount of time they are. But my son has been lucky enough in high school to have some of the most amazing teachers I have ever seen in my life and it makes me wish I were young enough to go to this high school (but we can never go back). My other two angels have another long week of school after this week. To boot, I had the pleasure of bringing my daughter's culture project up to her school today because it was too much to carry on the bus.....ever try to carry a large poster board, a 40lb box of Mexican cookies and a bag of tamales all while chasing your 2-year-old who runs off on you in a rain storm! It ain't pretty!! And today, you could wear the air it is so humid!! Then I have to run in very quickly to grab literally one item at the grocery store and meet the oldest (and nicest) man on the planet who just wants someone to talk to. So I listen to him for 45 made me realize that we need to slow down and just listen. You can learn a lot....he was right, everyone is in such a hurry today and it is making everyone so angry and stressed. We all need to slow down and just be grateful for our children, for our health, for our neighbors, for our family, for our friends, for our schools and teachers (the good ones), for peace, for watching out for one another....for taking time to listen to a lonely old, sweet man

Monday, May 25, 2009

Thanks For Adding Me To The Gene Pool Mom

The other day while I was riding in the car with my mom, I asked her "what good parts of you did I inherit"? She laughed, and really could not come up with much, then blamed all the bad things on my dad. I rebuttal with Dad doesn't have a flat chest, spider veins, panic attacks, a bad smoking habit, cellulite under his rear, thinning hair and an excessive spending habit. So what good things did I inherit from my mom? The ability to practice patience, love, understanding, and humility, all the ingredients for a good mom. Thanks for adding me to the gene pool ......

Sunday, May 24, 2009

My Birthday

Thanks for diming me out Lisa! Just kidding, thanks for thinking of me on my birthday! When I was a child, I always laughed at my mom and her friends when they would lie about their ages. I thought "how silly, what is the big deal." So, here I sit today on my birthday wondering where in the Hell all the years have gone. I can honestly say I stopped counting at thirty and child number three. Today when my husband asked me how old I was, I actually had to stop and think for a minute. Thoughts constantly run through my mind like "I am not old enough to be the mother of a child who will be driving in two years" (what a scary thought). I am sure every mother feels the same way when one day they are changing their babies diapers and then they turn around and they are handing the keys to the car over to that same child. I guess there are two ways I look at it, either I am one foot closer to the grave or this is God's idea of a very, very bad joke. Anyway, it was a nice birthday. The kids managed only to get into two screaming matches today. In honor of my birthday they were on their best behavior. My mom (who will always be older than me) made me a lovely dinner. My husband let me cook him breakfast, eggs and sausage. And everyone got to eat ice cream and cake until they exploded! Thanks again Lisa - You truly are my best friend!

Happy Birthday, Lib!

Hope you have a beautiful day! Love you :)

Friday, May 22, 2009

Popping With Grace

Today grace (the 2 year-old) and myself went popping (that's what she calls it because she is unable to say shopping). Anyway, I am beginning to think my husband and I are in big trouble when she gets older. We went to Kohl's because we had a 15% coupon and it is a Kohl's cash weekend (If you have a Kohl's by you and you do not shop there I highly recommend it). She really wanted a pair of flip-flops so we went into the shoe isle. She was sitting in the Kohl's stroller/shopping cart in the narrow isle while I looked at shoes. In the 3 minutes I had my back turned on her while I was looking at shoes she managed (and I am not exaggerating) to pull 25 boxes off the shoe racks, put a pair of shoes on, and then put her shoes back in the box and put it back on the shelf. I was horrified. Not only did she make a complete mess of the isle, she had put her shoes amongst the other 300 boxes and I had no idea which box they were in. I summoned a sales associate and explained my predicament to her and she was kind enough to help. After 10 minutes we finally found her shoes. Out of embarrassment, I quickly made my way to the register, checked the cart for anything she might have stuffed in the stroller while I was not looking and paid for our merchandise. As we walked out the door, I said a little prayer that the security sensors would not go off and in the back of my mind hoping we would not be tackled by loss prevention as we walked out the door. We made it safely to our car and drove home. Isn't being a mother fun?

Thursday, May 21, 2009


My neighbor called me early this morning in a panic because she was lost on her way to accompany her daughter on a field trip to Upland Hills Farm (oh yeah, all moms love those trips). The school buses darted in and out ahead through traffic, most likely knowing there were moms in mini vans frantically trying to keep up, and what a fun game this was, all the while laughing an evil laugh to themselves. I jumped on my computer and guided her, with the help of Google Maps, straight to her destination. I am now calling myself, "Hillbilly Onstar" and another day was conquered with evil bus drivers.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Tip For Potty Training That Might Work For You and Your Child

As mentioned before, we recently started potty training our 2 year-old Grace. We were soooo sick of changing diapers and the enormous cost of diapers (both of us have been doing it for the last 13 years being that we have 5 kids ranging in age from 13-2). Anyway, I was really dreading starting potty training with Grace because every time we approached the subject she would flip out and start crying then go hide in a corner and poop in her diaper as if we didn't know what she was doing). So one day I had a bright idea. Every child has something they really, really cannot live without. For Grace it was Jon & Kate plus 8 (which we watch at least 15 times a day, I don't have the heart to tell her they are probably going to be divorced within the next year), Babie Dolls, and Barbies. We were rolling around playing on the floor and I asked her if she was ready to go potty in the big person toilet. She of course replied no and went into a tizzy. Then I told her if she went poop and pee in the toilet Mom and Dad would throw her a big Barbie party. I told her we would have cupcakes, and Barbie hats, and we would by her a Barbie doll. Within 5 minutes of me telling her this she went up to her potty and sat there for about 45 minutes trying her hardest to poop. No matter what we said, she would not coming off that potty until she went. My husband finally gave up and told me the hostage negotiations was a failure and I had to reason with her before she had a stroke from pushing too hard. Anyway, she did not end up going on the potty that night but the next day, first thing in the morning, she went and has been going ever since. True to our word, we threw a Barbie party and the rest is history. If you have any advice, we would love to hear how you got your little one out of diapers. Click on this link potty training for more useful tips.

A Thing My Mom Never Told Me

We recently started potty training our youngest child (Grace the two year-old) and it is going quite well. She goes into the bathroom to use the toilet and privacy is a huge issue with her. The door must be shut and we must not interrupt her while she is doing her business (which is usually unrolling all the toilet paper and singing to herself). If we happen to check in on her all Hell breaks loss and it is the beginning of the apocalypse in our household. This got me thinking, how is it that everyone else in my home can use the toilet undisturbed and I cannot. Since when did my privacy in the bathroom become a privilege that I only get during nap-time or the middle of the night when nature so rudely wakes me from my sleep (and at the point I am too tired to enjoy the privacy anyway). I cannot honestly remember the last time I was able to go to the bathroom in my house without the kids asking questions through the door or having to break up fights while I am sitting on the porcelain goddess. I know what you are thinking, "Why don't you just lock the door" right? I tried that and Grace just sits outside the door crying because she cannot come in. I have resorted to just disgusting my entire family and not even bothering to close the door. This leads my to my second question, how come my husband gets to poop in peace? He is in and out of the bathroom three to four times a day taking his book and spending hours on end doing God knows what in there (I really don't want to know what he is doing in there - I personally don't get the fascination with smelling your body waste while you read a book). However, I have really come to resent that fact that nobody bothers him while he is on his throne and he feels he is entitled to such things. Why don't the kids start beating each other up or why doesn't Grace go in there and ask him a million questions like "what are you doing? Are you pooping?" "Let me brush your hair mommy," "Can I sit on your lap." Lisa (the other group home director) says she goes to work just to use the restroom by herself. Why did my mother never tell me it was going to be this way ...... Would love to hear if anyone else has the same problem.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Only in Warren Part II

Alleged Clothing Crooks Strike Warren

Robbers Striking During The Day

POSTED: Wednesday, April 8, 2009
UPDATED: 9:02 am EDT April 9, 2009
A duo of robbers on the loose in one metro Detroit community is not only after wallets and cash, but also their victims' clothing.In one 911 call, a 16-year-old boy says he's just been robbed while walking by Altermatt Park in Warren."Yes, and they took my pants," the victim told the operator. "He had long hair and said I can't look at his face or he'll kill me."The teen tells the operator he was instructed to strip down behind a playscape in the park before the thief took off with his pants, shirt and cell phone. The teen also said the man had a short knife.Police said they believe five people have been targeted by the robbers, but not all five of them have been forced to hand over their pants. Police said the commonality between all of the incidents were that the victims were all simply walking in Warren during the day."This appears to be a recent phenomenon," said Warren police Detective Mark Christian. Christian said he's never heard of thieves swiping pants but has an idea why."The pants are being taken, we believe, to either prevent the victim from pursuing the suspects once the robberies occur, or to simply further embarrass the victim," he said.Police said the thieves don't seem to be targeting their victims based on the type of pants they are wearing.Christian said Tuesday was the last reported incident where a robbery victim had his pants taken, too.

Only in Warren, Michigan

This is a little segment I like to call " Only in Warren, MI". We fear this just might put good ole' Chief of Police Bill Dwyer over the edge.

Shocked in the stuffing: Mich. police Taser toy cougar after 911 report of beast prowling park
By Associated Press
2:44 PM CDT, May 15, 2009

WARREN, Mich. (AP) — The fluff was flying when police in suburban Detroit zapped a large stuffed cat with a stun gun while responding to an emergency call about a cougar on the loose.A 911 caller reported seeing what looked like a cougar inside a piece of discarded drain pipe in Warren. Police zapped the cat with an electronic weapon on Monday, but they wound up with a bunch of fluff.The Detroit Free Press reports the stuffed animal was apparently placed in the pipe as a hoax. The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens reports the caller said it was a 150-pound cat.About 10 officers responded to the cat call. Warren Police Commissioner William Dwyer says the department is "out there to keep the community safe."

The Rabbit

Although the only thing my son's little floppy eared rabbit does is eat, then eat some more, the poop and poop some more, I have decided that she is the only living thing I really like in my house today - Is that so wrong?

My best friend Libby and I talk every day about having kids, husbands, dogs, family, work, head lice, female get the picture! If you don't laugh at things in life, you will be institutionalized. The picture to the left is how my son likes to clean up the dog's poo in the yard; full camo, gas mask, helmet....the whole nine yards. I didn't realize it was necessary to use universal precaution when cleaning up after the family pet but hey, who am I to judge!?! There are so many things we think we should write down just to laugh at it during life and later, but who has time!? Now we do! I have four beautiful children who range in ages of 17 and graduating from high school this year, a 13 year old thespian (stage left), a 7 year old drama queen and a 2 year old who I am sure is going to play football professionally and I have the bruises to prove it. Two of my four kids have ADHD (click link for resources) , and that is challenging enough. Three of the four have asthma,and one has immune deficiency. I am pretty sure I am going to start bubble wrapping them at the start each school year. My husband is the 5-0. I'm a police/fire dispatcher. The stories I could tell about some calls.......being lucky enough to talk to the "king of all perverts" (check Fox News for that one).....having a guy fall off the heroin wagon and drive down to Detroit to trade his car for drugs, get high, decide he wants to keep his car and gets the bonus of a free drug dealer in the back seat of his car that drives home with him because they have a "business deal". And you want me to send you the police for what..........

Monday, May 18, 2009

My First Post

Whoa! I made it through another day with three kids and a moody husband. We successfully made it through the day without any accident in our pants (potty training the 2 year-old) one case of the stomach flu (the 7 year-old) and one incident of missing home work (the 13 year-old). We just got the 7 year-old and the 2 year-old into bed (although it is doubtful the 2 year-old will stay in bed) and I finally have a few minutes to breath today. So, what do I do with the well-deserved free time? I sit here plopped in front of the tv watching the Bachlorette too tired to do anything else. When I have a few moments of free time, I sometimes ponder the question why didn't my mom tell me how hard being a parent and a mom was going to be? We are bombarded with images and ideas that parenting is this glorious task and we bring these kids home from the hospital and are suppose to have these idealistic moments of euphoria and raise these perfect little human beings. They never show you in these commercials and tv programs the endless nights of kids screaming because the want to nurse every two hours and endless nights and days of cleaning up diarrhea and vomit because your kid has the stomach flu. You never see the kids throwing themselves on the floor in a store because you won't buy them the toy that they absolutely have to have or else they will die. You never see the part where they tell you they hate you and blame you for ruining their lives because you won't let them hang with their friends because they failed a test at school. Maybe my mom did tell me and I just choose not to listen. Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful kids and am so blessed every time their little faces smile at me and tell me they love me. I just wish someone would have told me how hard it was going to be.