YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

911 operator: 911 the location of your emergency?
Caller: 12345 I live in a rich, gated community where nothing bad happens. I think our neighbors are having really loud sex, watching a porno movie too loudly or someone is dying in their house
911 operator: Why is that, ma'am (another term for fun ruiner)
Caller: Because the house has all the windows open, they are making noises like I have never heard before (shock) and there is a crowd gathering outside their house
911 operator: And you want the police to do what.........
Caller: Come over and make them stop!

And this is what we call, "Copus Interruptus"

Needless to say, no trouble getting any officers to respond to this call


911 operator: 911 the location of your emergency
Caller/idiot: Yeah, I have been off "crack" for 8 years and fell off the wagon tonight so I drove down to Brightmoor (Detroit's loveliest suburb) and went to a "crack" house to get "high"
911 operator: (snoring yet half conscious because this sounds like it may get interesting) OK
Caller/idiot: So like I traded my car for the drugs and then after I did the drugs I decided I liked my car and then like I got in to drive away and dope man got in the back seat to stop me
911 operator: OK
Caller/huge idiot: So I drove home to my house where my wife and six kids are sleeping and I am sitting in the driveway with the dope man in my back seat and he won't get out
911 operator: Are you )$(&%*#&*% kidding me?!
Caller/moron: What.........
911 operator: You drove home with this dreg of society to your house where your innocent family is sleeping and now you want the police to come out and get him out of your car.....
Caller: Yeah.......
911 operator: Drive him up to the police station.......

And he did.....and the dope man actually stayed in the car and went for a ride.....two of them
There should be licensing for procreating.........